I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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