it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
