Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
