it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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