i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
