Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
