She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
