My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
