Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
