Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
