He had one of those small greek statue penises
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
