i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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