I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
