She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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