i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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