sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
