I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
