hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
