Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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