Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just want to make out with him forever
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
