I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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