you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
