Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
