You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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