Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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