My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she told me i tasted like america
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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