I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Best friends brother. Beat that.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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