guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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