so that wasnt chicken after all
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
