I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
