she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
