i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
