White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
