omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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