you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
