She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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