You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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