I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
