Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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