How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
