I just made out with a guy for $7.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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