You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
