Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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