If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
