hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
