so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
