So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
