My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wrigley field is MILF paradise
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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