He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
