I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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