She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize