I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
