Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
