I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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