We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
