Jerry, you need to find god
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
